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Chronarchy.Com

If you're just here to see Pics, the site isn't really working well yet, and it's very incomplete.  But it is here!

LiveJournal Bios

Things written about me by others

Below, you'll see the true me, from several different eyes. I appreciate all those who wrote about me, unveiling new levels of truth and insight that I certainly don't see.

===

I wrote this bio:


I'm a Druid and a Discordian. There are rumors that I'm rather good looking, but they're all bunk. I'm 25 going on 6 when I can pull it off. I flirt and carry on with all manner of people, but it's all in fun. I have two armies in my office, one good and one evil. I work at Ohio State, and continue to take classes there. No, I won't put something as embarrassing as "Go Bucks!" in my profile. . . Wait a second, I just did. . . Damn!

I can't cook, but I can clean. I can't sing and I can't dance, but that doesn't stop me from the former, only the latter. I pretend to write deep, insightful essays, but usually they end up being more incitful (and generally pretty bad).

And no, I'm sorry, I won't sleep with you.

But you can ask.

===


vampyrecandy wrote this bio for me. Blessings upon her:


chronarchy is a very inscrutable individual. I both admire and envy this part of his nature. Moving on, his best friend's name is Eris. She's quite cool, once you get over the whole chaos thing. Or, once you totally throw yourself into it, either way.

Eris would be quite happy to let you know that Mike is sometimes a bit squirrely, but not often. She also wants me to tell you that he wears heart boxers and looks quite yummy in them.

She's moving off now, so I can get back to *my* story.

Wait, she's back again ... No, I won't write that, sorry. It's not polite. No, I won't ask him to do that, either. I think Eris is a little horny *dodges smack*.

Anyway.

Mike is a great guy. He's dedicated to achieving what he sets out to do- But being inscrutable as he is, it's not often that I know just what he's setting out to do.

I could go on singing his praises. Or, I could just end with the fact that he has a sexy set of ocean blue eyes and is one of the best guys I know.

===

This bio was written by deedeehopskotch:


Unbeknownst to most, Mike Dangler is actually tv's infamous "Mikey" from the Life cereal commercials. He had always dreamed of being a breakfast-grain commercial ragamuffin, but he never dreamed that his fame would surmount to the point of being incapable of showing his face in public. His family wished to protect him from the public spotlight and opted for plastic surgery to remove freckles, unbutton a button nose, and destroy any hope of returning to life as the cereal legend. Thus, many urban legends arose due to the disappearance of Mikey. He did not die from an overdose of pop rocks and coke, nor did he he turn into tv's Kirk Cameron. He transformed himself into just Mike; a man who likes his bunnies fluffy and his utilikilts short.

===

raherakht wrote this set of limericks for my bio:

A Limerick in honor of Mike:

There once was a druid named Mike
Who loved to frolic and hike.
His office is cool
and his legs make you drool
but he's too tall to ride a bike.

(yeah, horrible ending, but I got stuck!)

And now, a slightly risqu Limerick in Honor of Mike:
Mike is a great friend to all
he makes women blush and fall
For him, to be sure
he's got the cure
and his harem is at his beck and call!

Finally, a TRUE dirty Limerick:
Mike is tall and lean-muscled
and his hair always looks tussled.
What has he done?
We wonder as one
as he never arrives looking hustled.

(Hmm, that one was dirtier in my head, but I lost my nerve. LOL)

===

qorinda wrote this bio for me:


Michael Dangler is a typical guy in his 20's... works full time in IT customer service. He lives in Ohio, and has a sweetheart. Like most guys in their 20's, he is self-critical and striving for great goals. Sounds pretty normal, eh? Ah, but what is normal? Normal is a setting on the washing machine!

Is it "normal" to be an incorrigible flirt with every woman who will glance his way?
Is it "normal" to be one of the most hard-working Druids of ADF, full of all kinds of historical knowledge and the ability to write ritual featuring Jimmy Buffet?
Is it "normal" to have an office full of action figures?
Is it "normal" to be planning the meeting of his harem at a Druid Festival known as Wellspring?
Is it "normal" to fly into Phoenix to meet an older woman with see through blouse, short, short skirt, and long red hair, holding a sign saying "Sexy Senior Druid of Three Cranes, you're party is waiting?"
Is it "normal" to be advocating for gay rights when you are decidedly heterosexual and monogamous?
Is it "normal" to meditate by doing pushups in front of an altar?

Anyway, I think you get the point. These pages reveal someone who is unique, interesting, and intelligent, not to mention, sexy. Read at your own peril. ROFLMAO!

===

As far as limericks go, I like this one best (thanks mmefrufru!):

Mike Dangler's the man of good measure--
And awfully pleasant to pleasure
He fancies a fuck
With finesse and some pluck
He'll divvy it up at your leisure!

Running a close second is this one, from ceolnamara:

There once was a boy named Mike
And boobs he did very much like,
To grasp and to feel
And squeeze, quite surreal
Too bad the gal was a dyke.


===

roc441 wrote this bio for me:

chronarchy (Chronisisl Anarchonin Dangler Sulfate)

Is your life looking a bit too normal? Not enough chaos in your life? Are you craving a butterscotch dip cone? Feel like assassinating a cockroach king but you have no roach spray? Ready to give up on hot dog buns but dont know how? Still trying to figure out what the hell fnord is?

Theres hope. Using chronarchy can provide twenty-four hour relief from your symptoms.

chronarchy is not for everyone. You should not use chronarchy if you suffer from lack of tolerance, incapability to laugh, difficulty thinking outside the box, difficulty thinking period, paranoia of Eris, or a liking for flowery wall-paper.

Side effects include the desire to wear a fedora, and spend all your time at work playing with action figures, as well as a belief that doughnuts can solve all of the worlds ills. Using chronarchy with alchohol, druids, or the internet may intensify these effects. Serious side effects are rare. If you experience the acute desire to listen to Jimmy Buffet, discontinue use and see your doctor immediately. chronarchy may become habit forming.

Only you can decide if chronarchy is right for you. Use as directed.

===

druid_medb wrote this poem about me:

Michael Dangler is a sexy flirt,
His flirtations can be quite overt.
His grin is like the Cheshire cat,
As he smiles beneath his fedora hat.

His eyes are pools of the brightest blue,
A most amazing, stunning hue.
His tussled hair truly does beguile,
And bodys tall, and strong, and agile.

His mind is sharp and hes quick of wit,
And he never seems afraid to share it.
He likes his harem to follow him around,
And where he goes hotties abound.

He fancies Eris, Buffett, and pink flamingos,
And only other Discordians get his lingo.
Id love to get inside his mind,
But Im a little afraid of what Id find.

His sinuous body gives me thoughts quite visceral,
But if I go too far he may get egotistical.
So here Ill stop, talking about the guy,
And simply remember him, and sigh.

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Content © 2003-2005, Michael J Dangler
Updated on 12/19/2005. Site Credits / Email Me!
Basic site design from ADF.org
(Yes, I stole it!)