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An Illuminating Story

I woke up this morning and looked into the multiverse. It was a kind of odd feeling, seeing everything that did happen, might have happened, and shouldn't have happened.

The night was still with me, and I could see the stars in the sky staring down at me, though I couldn't recognize the constellations. There were some that I'd never seen before.

One constellation in particular caught my eye. It was of a lovely Lady, smiling down on me from the heavens. When she spoke, I was awed.

"Stop looking up my dress!" She said.

I was immediately humbled, and tore my eyes away from her. . . Well, you know. She floated down out of the sky and presented Herself to me. She told me Her name was Eris.

"Hi, I'm Eris, Goddess of Discord," She said to me. "I'm here to give you a revelation of sorts. Drink this."

I took the drink, and downed it quickly. I wasn't ever a big fan of tomato juice, but this was good stuff. It kind of rolled down my throat, and I started to notice some things I'd never seen before.

I saw King Kong, standing on top of the Empire State Building as planes flew around him. Then those planes turned into Roman centurions and started to stab him and nail him to the building. Then he fell, five wounds on his body.

Next, I saw the eye in the pyramid. I knew there was something odd about it, but I didn't say anything because I was afraid Eris might not like it. So I watched as the Eye crumbled and fell, bashing in the top of the Pyramid. I watched water swallow it, cover it along with the men, women and children who had been at the base, smiling and paying tribute, blissfully happy.

Finally, I saw a million cats, dead and alive at the same time. One of them offered me a golden apple, and I took it.

The word "Kallisti!" was on the apple.

Now I stood before Eris again. She was smiling in a way I had never seen anyone, human or Goddess, smile before. I asked Her what all this meant, what I had seen.

She spoke unto me, "If you do not know what you have seen, then I can't tell you. Get a life." And She walked off.

"Wait!" I called after Her. "I'm sorry!"

She turned to me and sighed. "Alright," She said. "I'll give you one more chance."

"It's about life, isn't it? It's about enjoying, singing, and making fun of life because you can. A little bit of Chaos goes a long way."

"Well, duh!" said the Goddess. "What else would it be about? Work, devotion, love, order, and getting to the top of the food chain? Look, kid, I have to go Illuminate a few other people. Do what you have to do, think what you have to think, but above all, open your eyes!"

And with that, the Goddess was gone.

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