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I was recently asked how a person could become more beautiful in my eyes, and to describe what I find attractive in a woman. Here it is. Just for the record, I know this'll sound really, really egotistical and a feminist reading of it will be very critical, but I can't help what I actually think!

This morning, my usual garage at work was closed due to some renovation project on campus. Because of this, I had to park in the Tuttle Garage, which is right next door, but not connected to my building. As I was grumbling about this, and watching the inept driver ahead of me try to open the gate, I happened to glance to my left at a car in the other lane. Sitting in that car was a girl who took my breath away.

She had a full head of curly hair, dark brown it looked like, she was probably shorter than I, and looked about my age. Well, the inept person in front of me finally figured out how his keycard worked, so he shoved off into the garage, and I had to follow (or risk pissing off everyone behind me like he did). So I pulled into the garage and started up the inclines.  When I pulled into a parking space, I noticed her pulling into one behind me. I waited a few moments, hoping she'd get out of the car so I could get a look at her. Well, then I noticed her putting on makeup in the mirror. I got up and went to work without a backward glance.

See, in my opinion, any woman who can't get out of the car without applying makeup needs to grow up. I was never a big fan of lots of makeup, and if it requires more than a minute to apply, it's way too much for me.

I do have standards with a woman, and I like certain modes of dress. Women must have curves. A woman without curves is a stick. I don't date firewood.

If a woman is curvy, she may choose whether to show it off or not. If she does, she'd better choose clothes that suit. Tummies that hang over pants should not be allowed to see the light of day. Women whose tummies go in may show a belly-button, but if the tummy goes over the pants, it should never be shown. (I apply the exact same standard to men, fyi.)

I like simplicity of dress. Fluffy long sleeves may look cool to women, but I don't usually care for them. Spandex is a privilege, not a right.

There are two types of clothes I can't stand: 1) shirts that only go over one shoulder. In my opinion, women should only wear a shirt with one shoulder if they've been attacked with a sword. It makes them look fat, ugly, and generally stupid. 2) "Fat six-year-old pants". I think they're usually called "capri pants" or some such rot. They look like the girl raided the closet of their 6-year-old sister (or daughter) and stole some pants. I say "fat" because only a fat child's pants would fit a full-grown woman's hips.

I also really don't like certain accessories, like belts that don't serve a function (like the big ugly ones that are really just strings of leather) and long fingernails.

Odd piercings will ruin a view for me. No belly button piercings, no tongues piercings, and especially no eyebrow rings, studs, or anything else on the face. The Deities made that body. Don't put holes in it. I can't help but think that the Divine spirit will leak out if you do that. (That's a great mental image!)

For some strange reason, I really, really like women wearing ball caps, bandanas, and other things like that. And I have no idea why, esp. since women don't find them sexy.

I like red hair, and generally anyone with wavy hair. Curly hair isn't really my thing: I'd rather have straight than curly. I will say that some women look good with curly hair, but certainly not all of them. I hate hair that's been plastered in place. I like ponytails and open hairstyles.

Blue eyes are best, with green tying a close second. What I really like, though are eyes that change colour, from green to blue.

I'm a bigger fan of smaller breasts than of larger ones. I prefer a slender look, but (as above), I don't date firewood. Ankles can be sexy, but legs are better. I'm a fan of skirts and high socks, and I like to joke about school girl uniforms and cheerleader uniforms, but that's usually all it is. If a tan didn't require work (i.e. mowing the lawn or at least lifeguarding), it won't impress me.

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