Liturgy Practicum 1: Domestic Cult Practice in ADF, Question 4, Entry 19
12/18/06 - Finishing out this Journal
Over the past several weeks, I've learned a lot about myself. Most of those lessons are reserved for the conclusion essay that I'll write shortly. There are some, though, that came to play here.
I have found that my devotional life is much less fulfilling without Usas and Ratri in it. I suppose I could do these rituals on the weekends, but honestly when the thought has occurred to me, I have felt that doing rituals just on the weekends was not a good idea. I prefer deeper connections or non at all than a half-hearted attempt. I find myself longing for the approach of daylight savings again.
I don't get to my altar as much as I would like, and I think that a lot of that has to do with the fact that I spend a lot of time with Maggie now, and the time I spend at her place I often feel cannot be "religious time" to me. the two times don't match up well in my life. On the other hand, when I have done ritual with her, that has felt more powerful and stronger. I suppose that what I do not get is that private, alone ritual time. It is interesting, because I have a deep need for both ritual time alone, and ritual time with another, and these two feelings, while they cancel each other out, also strengthen each other. It is odd and difficult to explain.
I have also learned that I need to take time to do things on my own. I went back through my Solitary Yule Rite (script) that I wrote two years ago and revisited that this week. I love that ritual, and it constituted a major part of the devotion I did this week.
In the end, I have learned a lot. The past four months were the most powerful ritual experience I've had, and it was good to do them.